My wedding story

My husband didn’t know we were getting married on our wedding day.

Um, how does someone not know that they’re getting married? This was my thought when my husband told me this SIX YEARS after it happened. We were 19, I was barely 19, and thinking things through wasn’t a strong suit of mine yet (fast forward 8 years and now overthinking is the real struggle). 

There’s a lot to this story.

And I guess it really begins summer of 2016. 

August, 2016

I’m 17 and at the gym with a friend of mine. She walks up to a boy working out a few feet away from us. I glance over but I’m not really interested. “Who’s that?” I ask her when she comes back. “Colin Flynn, he goes to my school”. Whatever, I shrug and keep working out. 

September

I see the same boy at the gym again. All of a sudden, I am interested? I send my friend a text, “Who was that guy again?”

I intentionally work out close by but don’t let him see that I notice him. I’m lifting heavy. He comes up to me, “You’re lifting a lot of weight. Do you want to borrow my belt?” I don’t use a lifting belt, but he’s cute so I go, “sure, thanks”. I keep lifting and give him his belt back when I’m done. “Thanks” I say and start to walk away.

 “Wait. What’s your name?” 

October

A few weeks later, we’re both at the gym at the same time again. At this point, we’re a little friendlier. I find out that he just graduated from high school and ask him what he’s majoring in. “Geographic information systems” he says. “Oh, I’m taking a GIS class”, I say. He goes, “You’re so cool, I have to get your number” - I still give him a hard time about this response 9 years later. Really? That’s what made me cool? Geographic Information Systems? Anyway, he says he’ll text me when I get home. Suuuure I think. I get home and 5 minutes later I get a text from him. 

November

It’s my birthday. I’m 18 now, a senior, and going at what feels like hundreds of miles an hour so very enamored by him. It’s only been a few weeks but a full whirlwind romance at this point. I want to see him any chance that I can. He takes me out to dinner to celebrate my birthday.

I still have the flower that he gave me that night, 9 years ago.

A few days later, he tells me that he wants to introduce me to a friend of his, “This is my girlfriend, Nicole.” he says. We hadn’t had that conversation yet so I’m internally screaming and externally blushing. 

December

December gets hazy. As everything turned brown and died around me, whole pieces of myself did too. “You haven’t been single long enough” I told him. “What do you mean?” he asks. “You dated someone for 2 years and then you were single for only a few weeks”, I say.

I didn’t mean it. I was 18. I wanted to have him fight for me. My example of love growing up was witnessing a rollercoaster of ups and really really low downs. Crash and burn downs. 

This sat with him. He thought about my words. I dug my own grave and we broke up. 

January

I got an epicly bad haircut. I bought a break up cake. I listened to The Strokes. I laid on my floor and sobbed. I found a lot of really good music.

February

I couldn’t shake off the feeling that we were still supposed to end up together. His birthday was the same day as my parent’s anniversary and I was a master at fantasizing outlandish scenarios. We were still going to the same gym and friendly enough with each other. 

I create this elaborate plan and surprise my parents with an anniversary gift to a bed & breakfast that’s a few hours away. I have 2 younger brothers. I need them out of the house so I cross my fingers, try to arrange a sleepover at a cousin’s house and it somehow works?

Perfect.

I cook a sophisticated meal and invite Colin over to celebrate his birthday. Was it the romantic reconnection that I envisioned? No. He doesn’t ask me to get back together. He says thank you and over the next few months we get together as friendly friends but the love I so craved wasn’t there. I got a fierce glimpse of it in November so I knew what it felt like but it’s gone now. 

May

I had been close with his little sister so she invited me to her birthday party. Colin and I were still friends but we weren’t seeing each other anymore. At the party, I send him a message asking what he’s doing later.

“I’m sorry. I’m seeing someone”.

I walk outside. I’m sitting at the end of his driveway absolutely heartbroken. His little sister comes out. She’s only 8 but she sits with me and comforts me as I’m crying. They’re moving across the country for 3 years in just a few weeks. “I love you Nicole. I want him to be with you. When we come back, I’ll tell him that he should be with you”.

June

I’ve graduated from high school. I envisioned myself going to college somewhere far, but something told me to stay nearby. I couldn’t get myself to leave so I enrolled in a university an hour away.

July

I’m travelling. I’m going to beautiful places. I’m growing.

It was mid July when I got into a car accident. I’ve driven 14 hours and I’m almost to Acadia, Maine. I’m just 15 minutes away from my destination when I’m trying to brake and the brakes aren’t working fast enough. I’m shaken up but unhurt. I get a text that day. It’s Colin. 

“Are you okay?” he asks. 

“I’m okay. The car was totaled but I’m okay”. 

“Okay. I wanted to check on you. I still care about you.”

August

In a few days, I’ll start college. I’ve been travelling all summer. I decided to go to the gym one last time. I park. I sit in my car frozen because I realize that I parked right in front of Colin’s car. I can’t get myself to get out. I see him start to get into his car. He tries to get my attention and I don’t know if I want to talk to him. I pretend that I don’t see him. He’s about to leave when I change my mind and I get out to say hi. I tell him that I’m about to go to college. We start talking again and I realize what I’ve known… I still really, really, really care about him too. 

September

We’re both living a little further away but it’s still only 1.5 hours away from each other. I’ve started college. The world feels a little bigger. We’re talking and somehow from one week to the next, emotions have quickly intensified. We’re both excited to see each other. He plans a date and asks if he can pick me up. It’s Friday evening, and we’re driving down the highway towards the Bluemont mountains with the most beautiful sunset that I’ve ever seen. We’re holding hands, listening to music with the windows down.  Life feels blissful. It’s a moment that I’ll never forget. We pick up dinner and drive out towards an open field. 

We’re laying on a blanket, my heads on his chest. He looks at me with a look that I’lll never forget. He said so much in that moment without saying anything at all. I know exactly what he’s thinking because I’m feeling it too. I feel myself start to get teary eyed. 

“What?” I ask him. He’s speechless. He’s smiling, time has slowed down, I feel him looking not at me but looking into me. 

“What?” I ask him again. 

“Say it.” I tell him. 

“I love you.” he says both with his words and his gaze that forever lives in my mind. “I love you too” I say without any hesitation, tears rolling down my face. 

October

We’re seeing each other every weekend. He’s staying awake until midnight talking to me even though he’s waking up at 5am to drive to work before school. We’re talking about getting engaged. He’s telling me that he’s already planning out the dream kitchen that he’ll build for me one day. 

November

It’s my birthday again. He gets me a record player and…

an engagement ring.

We’re talking about getting married in a few years. I start questioning, if we know that we’ll get married one day, why not get married now? Again, I have not mastered the art of thinking. I start looking into wedding officiants. I tell him that I want to get married sooner. He’s on board but we have two entirely different opinions as to what “soon” Meant. It’s Friday afternoon, I ask him to meet me at the courthouse after work. I thought we were on the same page. He thought we were there to pick up a wedding certificate so he shows up in his work polo At the Shoes Cafe in Downtown Leesburg, unbeknown to me that he has no clue That we were moments away from saying “I do”. Years later, he tells me that he didn’t want to disappoint me so he doesn’t object but he didn’t realize what was going on until we were saying our vows. 

Pretty crazy.

2025

we now have two beautiful children. Luna and Apollo. We’ve moved from my hometown of Leesburg, Virginia where everything started to Chapel Hill, North Carolina. We’ve bought a home away from all of our family & friends. We’re building a garden together, a physical and a metaphorical garden, hand in hand through all of the hard lessons that life throws our way. We’re always growing, and we’re coming up on 9 years of marriage. When you get married at 19 you evolve a million times into so many different versions. We’re entirely different humans now than we were when we met in 2016 but I adore him and the essence of who he is more than ever. He’s shown me so much love and grace over the last decade. He’s given me the time, patience, and safety to realize that what I witnessed as a child wasn’t love. 

This is love.

nova Luz